The instant oatmeal in Emma’s bowl was already cold enough to form a gray skin, but she was busy rolling her pencil back and forth across the laminate kitchen table. It was seven in the morning, and the light coming through the small window over the sink was a pale, wet gray.
I sliced a red gala apple into thin wedges, trying to fit them into her green plastic container before the morning ran completely away from us. Every morning followed this exact pattern, a quiet race against the school bus and my own mounting inbox.
“Eat two bites, sweetie,” I said, keeping my voice soft. “Just two.”
Emma did not look up from the pencil, her small thumb nudging it toward the edge where it finally dropped onto the yellow linoleum with a hollow click. She didn’t move to pick it up, just stared at the empty space where it had been.
I paused, my fingers brushing the gold band on my right hand, turning it slowly around my knuckle until the metal grew warm against my skin. It was a habit I hadn’t been able to break, even two years after the divorce was finalized.
“Sarah says sugar in the morning makes your brain sleepy,” Emma said, her voice quick and sudden.
I set the paring knife down on the cutting board, the blade making a dull metallic sound against the wood.
“Sarah makes those green smoothies with the spinach, right?” I asked, forcing a light tone.
“They have pineapple in them too,” Emma said, swinging her legs under the chair. “And we bought school cupcakes yesterday because they were eight dollars for the whole box, and Sarah said we could.”
“I made the maple kind,” I said, pointing at her bowl. “Your favorite.”
Emma shrugged, her eyes fixed on the floor where her pencil lay. “Sarah says the maple packets have too much syrup.”
I swallowed the dry taste in my throat. “It is just a little brown sugar, Emma.”
“I am not hungry anyway,” she said.
I closed the lid of her lunchbox with a sharp snap, the plastic tab clicking into place. The cost of school treats seemed to rise every semester, but Darren had never mentioned those small expenses.
