“Very big,” I said, offering a small smile. “It has plenty of room for us and all the clouds.”
She went back to her stickers, placing a third one near the handle. I stood up and carried her folded shirts to the suitcase, trying to ignore the slight tremor in my own hands as I packed.
“We need to pack the yellow coloring book too,” Emma said, pointing to the shelf.
“I already put it in the front pocket, sweetheart,” I said, pointing to the flap of the small carry-on bag.
She nodded once, her eyes returning to the sticker sheet. There were only three stickers left on the paper.
I tucked the shirts into the corners of the suitcase, smoothing the cotton fabric down just as she had smoothed the stickers. I wanted everything to be orderly, to present a neat, unbroken surface to the world so that nobody would look too closely at us or ask questions I was not ready to answer.
“We have our socks, and your blue pants, and the tin of peppermint candies,” I said, listing the items in a soft, steady rhythm.
Emma did not answer, but her rocking slowed to a gentle sway. She pressed her face against the plush nose of Buzz, inhaling the scent of the detergent I used.
“We will close the bag now,” I said, and she watched as I folded the lid over.
The kitchen clock chimed nine times while I sat at the small wooden desk in the living room.
A mug of chamomile tea sat cooling near my elbow, untouched. The house felt too quiet with Emma asleep, the silence filling up the corners of the room where David’s shoes used to sit by the door. I opened my laptop to double-check our flight status before going to bed.
